


Nyctophilia

by cherrysith



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crimes & Criminals, Death, Dom!Kylo Ren, Dominant Kylo Ren, Dubious Consent, F/M, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Organized Crime, Prison, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence, sub!Reader, toxic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:41:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26925292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrysith/pseuds/cherrysith
Summary: nyctophilia ~ an attraction to darkness or night; finding relaxation or comfort in the darkness.As the district attorney's wife, the past two years of your life have been spent in obedient silence for the sake of your husband's reputation. When the notorious Kylo Ren is finally arrested and put on trial for his crimes, your husband wants to see to it himself that when Ren is put behind bars, its permanent. Kylo, however, has different plans, some of which involve you.Modern day AU==============================This is a violent & smut heavy story. This is your one and only warning.Seriously. It's gonna be graphic. So if that makes you uncomfortable then I suggest leaving now.This is all fictional and not meant to reflect any real scenario.I don't know how the legal system works in its entirety, im literally just making up as i go, so if something doesn't seem right just go with it.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 21
Kudos: 80





	1. one

_He promised he'd be home._ You thought.

He had promised, which is exactly why you were still clinging on to every hope that he would hold himself to that very promise.

But you knew he wouldn't. You knew he'd forgotten. You knew he never kept to his word. He hadn't in over a year. Not since he got the job. It was practically like you ceased to exist, like he had divorced you, only to turn right back around and get remarried to his side chick, his job.

You sighed, taking a big gulp from the wine glass in your hands before standing up, blowing out the candles and grabbing the plates still full of food, only now the food was cold after sitting out for too long. Reluctantly, you stood over the trash, dumping out the meal you had worked so hard on for him. The meal you spent hours on. You had even watched a 30 minute Youtube video on how to perfect it.

And it had been perfect.

It was a shame neither of you would ever get to eat it.

Walking back to the table, you snatched up the mostly full wine bottle, not bothering to grab the wine glass. You wouldn't need it. Tonight this was a bottle for one, a particularly expensive bottle at that, which was precisely why you couldn't let it go to waste.

You trudged up the stairs, barely picking up your feet. Right now you should be giggling, running up the stairs with your husband who should be getting ready to absolutely ravage you as soon as you reached the top.

Instead the only ravaging that would be happening tonight would be geared toward the bottle in your hands.

Reaching your shared bedroom, you pushed the door open and walked to the large mirror, taking in your appearance. Tonight you had worn the sexiest red satin slip in your wardrobe, hoping that maybe he'd walk in, see you, and immediately want to take you right then and there against on the kitchen counter.

Maybe then you would've been okay with skipping dinner.

Your sex life had been on a downward spiral as of late. You couldn't remember the last time the two of you had sex, much less the last time you enjoyed it.

You also couldn't remember the last time he had made you cum either.

Recently it felt as though you were having sex more out of necessity rather than passion. Like you had a duty to fulfill as a married couple.

You sat down in bed, crossing your legs as you brought the bottle to your lips, letting the sweet liquid travel down your throat, warming your belly.

Tonight you were meant to be celebrating your two-year anniversary, which you were also supposed to celebrate a week ago, which is when it actually was. His idea of celebrating your anniversary was to have a dinner party with his new-found high ranking government official friends, thrown by you. There was not one face in the group that you recognized, so you spent the whole night silently by his side, ocassionaly nodding or replying when spoken to. You felt small. You felt unnoticed. You weren't even sure your guests knew that it was your anniversary due to the constant chatter about some new important case your husband was "privileged" to be working on.

You wanted to say no to the party, but it was important to him, so you gave in, as long as the two of you could celebrate. Alone.

Which you could now see that you were a fool for even expecting him to have the decency to respect what you wanted, for him to realize that this was important to you just as you had done for him.

Unaware at how long you had now spent twiddling with your thumbs and thinking about how stupid you were for even wanting a nice evening with your distracted husband, you suddenly felt the effects of the wine all at once, warming through your entire body.

You stared down at the now almost empty bottle.

You weren't a wine expert. All you knew was that you liked wine.

And that it made you inexplicably horny.

You finished off the last of the wine. _Might as well._ You thought, placing the now empty bottle on your bedside table.

Titling your head back against the headboard, you tried to ignore the pit building in your stomach, the way the spot between your thighs ached to be touched, the way your body screamed at you to take care of the feeling.

Giving in, you slid your body down against the sheets, your slip sliding up your thighs at the friction. Letting your head rest against the pillow, you slowly opened your legs.

Just as you began to slip a hand down your belly toward your legs, you heard the front door open and close.

Blushing, you tore your hand away as you heard heavy steps come up the stairs.

Right as the door to your bedroom opened you groaned, turning to face the wall and pulling down your slip to avoid your husbands gaze.

Not only had he abandoned you on the night you were supposed to celebrate your love for one another, he had also ruined your orgasm.

"Baby" He sighed, immediately sensing your disdain for him.

When you didn't respond, you heard his feet shuffle towards your side of the bed.

You shut your eyes so you wouldn't have to look at him, you didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

He breathed out your name as you felt him lightly graze your cheek. You jerked away.

He sighed and you felt the bed dip down beside you, making your body slightly shift towards him.

"I'm so sorry baby"

Silence hung in the air as you again refused to acknowledge him.

"Please, look at me" He now pleaded, resting a hand on your thigh.

You could hear the slight desperation in his voice, and although you would've liked to hear a little more, curiosity got the best of you and you slowly fluttered your eyes open to look his way.

His suit was slightly disheveled. You could tell he had loosened his tie as soon as he had gotten in his car on the way home, something he always did. You could tell he hated wearing the stupid thing, but it came with the job.

He was the district attorney.

He had to look the part.

Your eyes traveled up to look at his face, hoping to find remorse in his blue eyes. Luckily it was there. Maybe you weren't stupid to have hope after all.

His neatly slicked back hair from this morning was beginning to lose its shape, letting a single tendril of brown hair droop down towards his face.

He looked tired. But then again, maybe it was the fact that he had a few years on you that added to weathered look of his face.

"You promised" Your voice cracked slightly, to your dismay. You bit your bottom lip to cease your chin from quivering.

"I know, I know. Baby, I'm so sorry-" He stopped for a moment as his eyes trailed to your bedside table.

You followed his gaze, wondering what could possibly have taken his attention away from you once again.

The empty bottle.

"Did you drink all of that yourself?" He furrowed his brows, turning his stare back to you.

You scoffed, annoyed at the way he had so suddenly changed the topic. "Yes. Do you have a problem with that?"

"That bottle was a gift. We were supposed to open it together" He shifted, turning his body more towards you.

"Well that was the fucking plan. I decided to celebrate our anniversary myself, since you don't seem to want to" You bit back, starting to get up to move away from him.

You stood, swaying as you underestimated the effects of the entire bottle of wine running through your bloodstream.

His hands darted out to steady you, guiding you so that you were sitting back down on the bed.

You brought your gaze to your feet as he left a hand on your lower back, almost as if he wanted to unarm your anger.

It wouldn't be that easy.

"Its not that, I do want to celebrate with you its just-"

"Its just that your job is more important than our relationship"

"What?! No, of course not. I just got held up at work. I wanted to call I just......I never got the chance to"

"You've known about this for a week! A fucking week!" You shook your head, your blood was boiling.

"I know." You could see him turn his head to the floor in shame from the corner of your eye.

"What could have possibly been more important than this? Than us?"

"They're moving Ren's trial up, it starts tomorrow. I just had to scramble to get a few things together." You snapped your head up to look at him. His tie was now in his hands and he was toying with it, avoiding your stare. He was nervous. You didn't know much about the case, just that it was a big one, just that your husband's entire career was riding on this man's conviction. "But that's no excuse," He continued, facing you once again, "I should have been here. Like I promised"

"Why didn't you just tell me?" You sighed, turning your body to his now.

"I don't know. It was stupid. I should have. I thought I'd be home in time," He lightly chuckled, "I'm so sorry. Please understand" He grabbed your hands, pulling them in his lap.

You looked into his eyes, searching for sincerity in his stare. While you wanted to be mad at him, you knew he was an excellent charmer. It was how he had gotten to his position. It was why you had fallen for him in the first place.

You knew you would regret your next words, but you couldn't help it.

You sighed. "It's okay." You gave him a reluctant smile and he grinned back at you.

He pulled you into a warm embrace, kissing you on the forehead. But you wanted more.

If there was one thing that could be redeemed about tonight, it was that you could still put this red lingerie to good use.

You gripped his hair, pulling his face down and crashing your lips on to his. He was surprised at first, but kissed back, placing a hand along your jaw.

You deepened the kiss, biting back a moan as he placed a hand on your thigh.

God, at this point you were so deprived a simple touch could send you over the edge.

However when you moved your hands to his belt, he placed a hand over them, stopping your attempt.

"Mhm, baby, not tonight" He broke the kiss, leaning back.

"But I want you..." You breathed, moving to kiss him once more, but he dodged your lips.

"I know. Believe me I do too. I'm just so tired, I don't really have it in me. Plus I've got a big day tomorrow," He stood, looking back to the nightstand, "Besides, you've had a whole bottle of wine to yourself, you should get some sleep"

Your cheeks burned red at the sting of rejection. "Right." You whispered, looking down to your lap.

"Hey, look at me" He lightly gripped your chin, lifting your face to his, "I'm going to make this up to you. I promise," he paused, thinking for a moment, "I want you to come with me tomorrow. You can sit in court, it won't be long, we will just be going over some initial things. Then you and I can spend the rest of the day together tomorrow"

You blinked up at him.

"How does that sound?" He asked.

Though the court part sounded extremely boring, at least he was trying. Your head was too fuzzy now to argue anyways. "Okay."

He smiled, leaning down to kiss you on the forehead. "Great. I love you"

"I love you too, Mason"

With that he walked off to the bathroom, clearly pleased with himself at diffusing the situation almost effortlessly.

You huffed when he closed the bathroom door, throwing yourself back on to the bed.


	2. two

A giant fucking headache.

Thats what you had woken up with.

You made a mental note to add that to the list of things you knew about wine.

You sighed, putting the finishing touches on your makeup. Despite the fact that you wanted to hiss at any form of light, you had actually managed to put some effort in your appearance today.

Mason had to look the part of district attorney, so you had to look the part of the district attorney's wife.

_God. Why did they have to do this shit so early in the day._

"Darling. I cannot be late. Are you ready?" You could see Mason poke his head into the bathroom through the mirror.

You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes. You were not a morning person.

_Are you ready to fuck off?_

"Yes dear, just doing some finishing touches" You forced yourself to smile, turning to him.

He didn't seem to notice the sarcasm in your tone. "Alright, just be ready to go in the next five minutes okay?" He swiped a hand through his hair, looking past you to take a peek of himself in the mirror. You could practically feel his stress levels rising by the way he began to put on his tie, fumbling with his fingers to get it on, a layer of sweat beginning to form at his hairline.

He let out a heavy breath as he looked back up to himself, realizing it was crooked.

You glided over to him. "Here." You whispered, taking a hold of the tie and fixing it for him. He stared into the mirror as you looked up to him, the nervousness in his eyes evident.

"Hey, look at me," You said, gripping his chin. He looked down to you impatiently. "Stop freaking out. You're gonna do great. You always do."

His face softened a little as he blew air out of his nose. "This case. There's so much riding on it. If I fail..."

"You won't" You smiled up at him. "You never lose a case." Though you knew what he meant. This case had already garnered tons of media coverage. The whole state was watching, if not the entire country.

An unfamiliar expression flashed across his face, but he replaced it with a small grin so quickly you weren't sure it had actually been there. "You're right. I never lose a case. This will be no exception."

There's his ego. "Exactly." You began to reach up to give him a kiss, but he shifted past you, walking closer to the mirror and grabbed his suit jacket, shrugging it on.

"Lets go" He smirked, clearly finding his confidence again.

You dropped your shoulders.

_Glad I could give you the pep talk, honey._ You thought, following behind him as he led you to the car.

The ride to the courthouse was spent in complete silence, especially since he turned off the radio the second you had clicked the power button. You'd just have to suck it up today. He needed to focus.

As he pulled into the parking lot, your expectations of walking alongside him into the courthouse quickly diminished as he seemed to forget you were there, walking ahead of you and past the reporters aggressively sticking their microphones in his face.

Sucking in a deep breath, you followed, walking quickly as to not lose sight of him. You had no idea where to go, much less what to do with yourself.

You followed him into a large room, your anxiety rising as you realized it was practically filled to the brim with people. They wanted to watch, everyone did.

Mason's shoulders rose for a moment before he turned back to you, pointing to a spot in the back row. He wanted you to sit there.

When he asked you to come last night, you figured you'd be in the front row right behind him. Considering every other row was filled, that wouldn't be happening today, though you doubted he'd ask you to sit in the front row even if the room had been empty.

You took a seat, forcing a small, polite smile at the man sitting next to you. He gave you a small nod in return before focusing his gaze to the front of the room.

You sat there for a good while, deciding against using your cell phone to exercise proper courthouse etiquette, the ring on your left hand occupying your attention instead.

The volume in the room seemed to rise as a door opened and in came two guards, followed by a man in a suit with two more guards on each arm.

Damn, did this guy really need that much security on him?

From a distance you could only make out a few things about the man. The first being that the suit he was wearing looked expensive. Very expensive. Dark hair fell in waves, framing his face.

He towered over all four guards.

Scanning the crowd, a smirk fell upon his face.

_He must like an audience._

The view you had of him was lost as he sat down, the guards taking place near by.

"All rise" Everyone stood as Judge Calrissian entered.

From what you knew of him, Lando Calrissian was an egotistical bastard, though Mason got along with him just fine.

You were seated, unsure of how much time had passed. You had gotten bored after a few moments of listening, choosing to instead occupy yourself with your hands again as your nails became the most interesting thing in the world.

Picking at your nail polish, a few words from the discussion being had slipped into your focus.

Vile. Dangerous. Evil.

Kylo Ren.

Despite the use of adjectives being used to describe the man in question, your mind wandered off, thinking about last night. Your cheeks reddening again at the thought of your husbands rejection. Maybe tonight would be your lucky night. Especially if today's proceedings go well, as well as the rest of the day you'd spend with Mason.

A nice dinner, maybe a walk by the boardwalk.

Maybe you wouldn't even make it back home.

Maybe he'd take you in the car.

You squeezed your thighs together, unsure of how much longer you'd be able to handle the sexual frustration that had been brewing in what had felt like an eternity since your husband had last touched you.

The sound of a gavel hammering down brought you out of your thoughts as you realized everyone around you was beginning to stand up, making their way out of the room.

Was today's session over already?

The man beside you quickly stood, brushing past your legs as he made his way out of the courtroom. You furrowed your brow, wondering why he had been so rude, and stepped out out of aisle to allow the other people to get out.

You looked to the front. Mason and the other lawyers were starting to gather their papers.

How long had you zoned out for?

You waited a few moments for the crowd to dissipate before walking toward the front, now standing behind a very flustered looking Mason. He was silent, shuffling through papers and putting them into folders.

You felt awkward standing there, out of place. "Hey" You said softly, trying to earn his attention.

He flopped a folder back onto the table, slowly turning toward you. "What?" He looked pissed.

What had happened?

"Is everything okay?"

"Is....is everything okay?" He pinched his brows together, his voice started to rise, but then he caught himself, taking a small step towards you and lowering his voice, "did you not hear the last twenty minutes of discussion?"

Your face burned red. "Of course I did!" A lie.

He let out a humorless laugh. "Then you'd know that no, everything is not okay. They're gonna tear me apart for this"

The panicky feeling inside of you was rapidly growing as you realized that maybe you should have been listening after all. Though, you wanted to blame Mason. He was the one who had told you today would be filled of formalities rather than anything extremely important. He said it'd be boring.

You drew in a deep breath, quickly trying to find a salve for both of your mistakes, though you didn't quite know what his was. You placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing gently. "It'll be okay, we'll go out like we planned and you can relax, at-least for the next couple of hours." You smiled.

He tore his shoulder away from you and you watched as his counterpart, Rose, quickly glanced away from the two of you, embarrassment flooding you.

"You really think I can go out and have a good time? After what just happened? Don't be so stupid." You felt tears begin to rise, but you bit down to prevent their release. He continued, "I have to go back to the office and fix this...this mess!"

You remained silent, not wanting any remaining people in the room to see your shame.

He gave you a quick glance. "Here, take my keys, Rose will give me a ride"

You took them out of his hand, slightly nodding. You couldn't quite look him in the eyes as you stood on your tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek, something you thought would make it seem like the two of you hadn't just had the conversation you had, something you thought would make him look better in front of the few people who did witness what had just happened.

You realized you had been wrong to make that assumption as he moved away, opening your view to a new set of eyes entirely.

Kylo Ren's eyes, to be exact.

He was still seated, hands cuffed underneath the table, staring directly into your eyes. You knew he had heard every word shared between you and Mason.

You face flushed for the umpteenth time today.

"This isn't the place for affection, it isn't professional" Mason said, his tone hushed.

Though you heard him, you didn't look at him, you couldn't seem to tear away from the dark eyes holding you in place.

"Right, sorry" You replied.

You could have sworn you saw the right side of Kylo's lips turn upward slightly, but when you blinked, it was gone.

You tore your gaze away, looking back to Mason shoving things in his briefcase.

He hadn't seen the exchange that you just shared with the very reason for his stress.

"I'll see you at home" taking a step back, you turned towards the door, but not before giving the handcuffed man a quick glance.

He was still watching you.

You quickly walked to your car, a shiver running down your spine as you thought about the way he looked at you as if....

Well....you weren't sure.

His face had been a barrier. A stonewall devoid of any emotion or reaction whatsoever.

Walking into your house, you quickly kicked off your heels, making a beeline for the kitchen and grabbing the first bottle of wine in sight.

Tomorrow's headache was the least of your concern.


	3. three

It'd been almost two weeks since you absolutely embarrassed yourself that first day of the trial.

It bothered you that Mason was so upset over something that you didn't know about due to your own lack of attention.

Now you felt you had something to prove, that you weren't as incompetent as the incident had made you look, made you feel.

You knew Mason thought you'd only went just because you wanted to hold him accountable for missing your anniversary. He'd insisted that you didn't need to come anymore, that he was sorry for the way he acted the day before. You forgave him of course, after thinking about how you'd act under the amount of stress he was under, though you wouldn't have been as harsh or nearly as cold as he had been.

He dealt with things differently, you knew that.

So you kept going. You wanted to support him, show him that even though he had been acting selfish, you weren't like him. You were going to be there for him no matter what, because you loved him.

A small, though dark, part of you feared that maybe Mason wasn't the only reason for your commitment to the trial.

You'd gone in that second day, brushing your red hot humiliation to the side. The same man from the day before had been sitting in the same spot. After scanning the room to find that, once again, the room was full of spectators, you went up to him, asking politely if you could sit there. He looked up at you, blue eyes staring into yours much too long for comfort, before scooting over slightly so you could take a seat

You'd gone in everyday after that. Sitting in the same seat, next to the same man.

It was a routine.

After a couple of days you began to actually look forward to going, especially when the trial had started to heat up. You liked that everyone who had become a regular just like yourself had their own little assigned seat. You liked that for once you had something to do other than sit at home and wish your life had been more than just being Mason's wife.

But today was one you dreaded.

Today you you were supposed to go to brunch with some of Mason's colleagues' wives.

It was a monthly occurrence. You absolutely hated it.

That's why since the moment you sat down you'd been silently praying that today's session would run over so you wouldn't have to go.

When it ended 30 minutes earlier than usual, you had to physically glue yourself to the bench to stop yourself from standing up and desperately begging them to go over something again.

You had already been on edge since you realized the blue-eyed man that you'd never spoken to, but had found normalcy in sitting next to, was missing.

Almost everyone had left now, but you sat, clutching the seat below you, mind working tirelessly to find any excuse under the stars to get out of going today.

Sighing, you stood, grabbing your bag. You had to go.

You stopped when you heard your name, turning around to meet Mason's gaze. He motioned to for you to come closer, a small twinge of excitement rising as you realized this was the first time he was actually interacting with you in court since the first day. You'd been driving yourself, since he had been working late. Maybe he'd ask you to stay for a minute, so you could grab lunch together, or maybe he'd tell you that he'd be coming home with you. It was a Friday, after all

"Yes?"

"Brunch today, right? With the wives?" Mason asked.

_Oh._

"Right"

"What are you still doing here then? It starts at 11:30 doesn't it?" He looked down at his watch, "Do you need some money? Here, I'll get you my card" He turned, digging in his briefcase for his wallet.

You stole a glance of the prisoner to find that he had already been looking at you, head tilted.

The guards moved toward him, forcing him to a standing position as they unlocked his feet from the table.

Mason turned back to you, handing you his credit card. "Here. You need to get going. Please don't be late, you know how it makes us look."

You wanted to roll your eyes. You knew he'd really meant how it makes _him_ look. He was always so concerned with what his colleagues thought about him. He practically forced you to this stupid brunch every month just so it'd make the two of you look good.

"I won't"

He gave you a small nod, turning back to Rose.

You looked back to Kylo Ren. His dark pink lips moved upward into a wicked smirk, forming his cuffed hand into a gun and mockingly pointing it at your husband.

You furrowed your brows, watching as the guards pulled him along.

Just before he disappeared through the doors, he turned his head back toward you, bringing his pointer finger up to his lips as if telling you not to tell another soul of the interaction you just shared.

"Is something wrong? What are you still doing here?" Mason asked.

You looked to him, then back to the door the man had just disappeared into.

For some reason, you felt obligated to keep Ren's secret.

"No, everything's fine. I'll see you later."

\------

It felt silly to dread going to brunch as much as you did, but there was no reality where you'd ever be able to find yourself relating to any of the other wives.

You were by far the youngest, and they were damn well aware of it.

In fact, they had made sure that you'd never forget it either.

The way they spoke to you, like you knew absolutely nothing about anything and they knew it all. Like they were better than you in every way imaginable.

You hated them.

But being with them made you hate yourself, too.

When you looked at them all you could see was dullness where you knew there once was life, excitement, wonder. None of them had lives of their own anymore, everything they had was because of their husbands, like their personalities had been bought. Each of them acted and dressed the same, each a slightly different copy of the same woman.

You hated it, because you feared that one day you'd be just like them: lifeless, a shell of the person you once were.

You picked at your nails as you sat there, listening to them speak about things you couldn't bring yourself to care about.

"Oh, honey, you have got to stop pickin' at your nails! It's not healthy!" Susan, chirped, grabbing your hand and inspecting your nails, "Oh my lord, your hands are a mess! When's the last time you got them done?"

You wriggled your hand from her grasp. "I do them myself, I just haven't gotten around to it."

Karla let out a laugh. "Oh no, no. You do them yourself? Honey, you need to go get them done at the salon, thats what Mason's money is for!"

Suddenly all the wives were laughing too. You forced a small smile, forcing your shoulders upward slightly to make it look like you were laughing along.

"But seriously," Susan clutched her necklace trying to contain her laugher, "the lady who does my nails is a-maz-ing, as soon as we leave here I'll give her a call and book you an appointment, having ugly nails is just simply unacceptable! I can't believe you go out like that, I'd rather die!" She cackled again, the other women laughing along.

You looked down to the glass of water in your hand, clenching your jaw. You imagined crushing the glass in your hand in a burning rage and knocking Susan over the head with the same fist, unleashing hell on the other wives while you were at it.

But you didn't.

You took a deep breath and smiled. "I'd like that. Thank you."

They quickly dove into a new conversation, something about hot yoga, you thought, though you weren't sure.

Your mind had drifted off, thinking about the same pair of eyes that had preoccupied your mind since the first time you'd looked into them.

A shiver ran down your spine as you thought about the way he had looked at you, dragging his pointer finger up to his lips, the way he'd smirked at you.

Though you hated yourself for it, you let the image of him run freely through your mind. There was just something about him that intrigued you, that plagued your thoughts.

Thinking about him certainly beat listening to the conversation happening right in front of you.

Before you knew it, the other wives were standing up, hugging each other goodbye and making plans, none of which involved you, but you weren't complaining. You'd rather tear your hair out than spend another unnecessary second with them.

You got in your car, heading straight home, too emotionally drained to do anything else.

Like always, you didn't have much to do once you got home. You straightened up a little, then plopped down onto the couch. You scrolled through Netflix, settling on a movie, and laid back.

You hadn't realized you fell asleep until you shot up at the sound of your phone getting a notification. Realizing it was dark, you picked up your phone, checking the time.

8:30.

"Mason?" You stood, walking into the kitchen and flicking the light on. "Mason! You home?"

When you didn't get a response you walked to the garage, opening the door and peeking your head in.

His car wasn't there.

_Weird._ You thought, closing the door behind you.

You scrolled through your phone, clicking his contact and pressed the call button.

It rang, then went to voicemail.

You shrugged it off, he was probably just working late again, though he usually texted you telling you he'd be doing so.

When your stomach growled you decided to eat your leftovers from earlier, assuming Mason would figure out dinner for himself.

By the time you finished eating it was 9:00 and you still hadn't heard from him.

You got in the shower, feeling the hot water relax your muscles, and closed your eyes.

It was then that the image of Kylo pointing the hand he formed into a gun at your husband popped into your mind, filling you with dread.

You tried to push it aside, but now it was all that you could think about.

You quickly rinsed off, stepping out of the shower and wrapping yourself in a towel before padding over to your phone on the counter.

You dialed Mason's number again.

No answer.

You took a deep breath.

_Why am I freaking out. He's just working late._

You sat on the edge of the bathtub, typing out a message to Mason.

**-"Hey, call me when you get a chance"**

**————**  
It was now 11:35and you still hadn't heard from him. The slight doubt in your mind had now turned into a full blown freak out.

You knew Ren's gesture was nothing more than a meaningless threat, but you still couldn't shake the pit building in your stomach.

You dialed Mason's number again, holding your breath.

This time, he answered.

"I can't talk right now, what do you need"

Though he sounded bitter, your shoulders dropped in relief from hearing his voice through the speaker.

"I was just making sure everything's okay. When are you coming home?"

"I don't know."

"What? What do you mean you don't know?"

He sighed into the phone.

"What happened?" You asked, the dread slowly returning.

"Ren escaped"


	4. four

"Ren escaped"

You stayed silent, not a clue what to think, or say.

"Listen, just, don't wait up for me. It'll be a while before I get out of here."

"Please just....be careful."

"I will"

"Mason?"

"What?" He sounded annoyed now, in a rush to get off the phone.

"I love you"

"You too"

With that, he hung up, your shoulders dropping in disappointment. You weren't surprised by his response, you hadn't heard him tell you he loved you since the trial started.

It was like instinct, the way you immediately began to bite your nails, a way to cope with the anxiety bubbling inside.

Though you were really fucking worried, you started to rationalize. If you were Kylo Ren and you had managed to escape prison, you would have hightailed it out of here and gone as far away as possible.

With a deep breath, you tore your hand away from your mouth. Shaking your head at the thought of Susan examining your fingernails, she'd die if she saw you now.

There was absolutely no reason to worry. Even if he hadn't gotten far, they'd catch him in a heartbeat. There wasn't a person in the state who wouldn't recognize his face, it had been plastered all over the news. He may have escaped, but it wouldn't be for long. He'd be back in his cell by morning, no doubt.

"Yeah. Nothing to worry about," You breathed, staring at your reflection in the mirror, "nothing at all."

You'd gotten in bed, pulling the covers over your body and let yourself relax into the mattress. Though you'd napped for an ungodly amount of time earlier, you were still exhausted.

But as exhausted as you were, intruding thoughts began to seep in, being thrown at you a mile a minute. You tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable position.

"Damnit!" You slammed your hands down, frustrated.

A deep breath.

_100._

You began counting down. It was a trick you learned as a kid. It didn't always work, but sometimes....

_99._

With each number you inhaled, releasing each breath before you went on to the next.

_87._

You didn't notice when all the intrusive thoughts stopped, your mind finally beginning to clear.

_44._

_43._

_42..._

_Flashes of hot flesh against hot flesh._

_Pink, swollen lips._

_Gasps. Moans._

_Calloused hands. Quick, and smooth, refusing to leave not even an inch of exposed flesh untouched._

_Desperation. Yes, thats what it was. Desperation._

_It was almost tangible. Like sand slipping between your fingers. Just barely there. But you could feel it, wrapping its dark arms around you, pulling you in, taking control of your every thought, every instinct._

_Warm breath, traveling down your aching body, leaving goosebumps in its wake._

_Raven hair, ticking your inner thigh._

_Raven hair...._

_You couldn't remember why that one feature felt so out of place. You decidedly moved your gaze down the length of your trembling body, breath trapping in your lungs at the sight between your thighs._

_Dark eyes met yours, familiar, though at the same time, not._

_Realization struck, your voice becoming nothing more than a forgotten memory. It took every ounce of strength to find it again._

_"Kylo?"_

You jolted awake, drenched in sweat, gasping for air.

Scrambling for your phone, you clicked the power button, the brightness of the screen burning your eyes.

Squinting, you looked at the time.

3:02 a.m.

You threw your head back onto the pillow, blowing a quick puff of air through your nose in frustration.

Heart rate beginning to slow, you shifted, trying to find a comfortable position. You yearned to fall back to sleep, the amount you'd managed to get hadn't been restful, you blamed it on the dream you'd been having.

The dream.

Your eyes flew open again, being met with nothing but pitch black darkness.

"No..." You whispered, ashamed.

You were dreaming about Kylo Ren.

A fucking sex dream no less.

Suddenly, you were very aware of the fact that your panties were soaking.

_Oh my god._

You tapped your fingers on your stomach, trying to ignore the fact that you were, also, very turned on.

_I shouldn't._ You thought.

_I can't._

_It's wrong._

But you couldn't stop thinking about the way he looked between your thighs, the way his touch had sent bolts of electricity up your spine. The way his tongue.....

"Fuck it"

You pulled up the hem of your nightgown, slipping a hand into your panties.

A sigh of relief fell past your lips as your fingers brushed over your clit, aching for release.

Pressing down a little harder, you couldn't help but let out a soft moan. Still imagining his eyes burning through you, you began to trace tight, quick circles around your swollen nub.

You could feel yourself climbing to release, you were almost there... just a few more seconds....

Suddenly the lamp in the corner of your bedroom flicked on, light flooding your room.

You gasped, quickly ceasing all movement and pulled your hand from your panties.

Sitting up, you squinted. "Mas-"

Your heart plummeted out of your chest. It hadn't been Mason who had turned on the light. It wasn't Mason who stood next to your bedroom window.

Arms crossed, a wicked smirk plastered on his face. "Don't stop on my behalf."

No, it wasn't Mason.

It was Kylo Ren.

You were frozen in place, staring at the demon who'd somehow dug his way from hell and made his way into your bedroom in the middle of the night.

If he hadn't spoken again, you would have thought he was a figment of your imagination.

"By all means, continue."

Just like in your dream state, you couldn't find your voice, fear pushing it down to the deepest parts of your being.

When he realized you were currently unable to respond, he shifted, uncrossing his arms and making the slightest movement forward.

It was like something snapped in your mind, the primal need to survive kicking in as you quickly scrambled across the bed to Mason's side.

You knew he kept a gun in his night stand.

You'd made it, quickly throwing the drawer open and grabbing hold of it.

But it was too late.

Kylo Ren was on you like a raptor, flipping you onto your back and wrestling the gun out of your hands.

"No!" You screeched, desperately grasping for the gun, your only hope of survival quite literally slipping out of your hands.

You tried to scream again, but he wrapped his hand around your throat, cutting off the sound, a whimper escaping your lips instead.

"You thought this would protect you? This pathetic little thing?" His stare traveled from your eyes, to the gun in his hand and back again, keeping you there in his gaze. "You meant to kill me with it?" He growled.

When you failed to answer, he squeezed tighter, pushing you further into the mattress.

Though you were ashamed for even thinking about it, you couldn't help but take notice in how his knee was in between your thighs. A delicious pressure where, despite the pure terror, you were still aching.

"Answer me"

He let off, just a little. "Y-yes!" You managed to choke out.

"Hm"

He tore you off the bed by your neck, dragging you across the room and shoving you into the chair next to where he had been standing moments before.

His left arm rose, keeping the eye contact between you as he pulled the trigger repeatedly. Each loud pop making your bones want to leap from your body.

He'd unloaded the clip into your mattress, leaving behind 6 smoking holes.

Kylo tossed the gun to the floor, leaving you to grapple with the fact that had you still been lying in that bed how you were mere seconds ago, it would be soaked with your blood.

You imagined your lifeless body, eyes devoid of any sign of existence. "P-please. Whatever you want, just take it. I won't stop you, just please...don't..." Your voice trembled. You couldn't finish the sentence, but what you meant to say was _please don't kill me_.

He tilted his head, dragging his eyes up the length your body, before turning away and stalking across the bedroom.

A silence drifted over the room as he dragged his fingertips across the furniture. He stopped at your dresser, pulling open the top drawer.

Your lingerie drawer.

He observed the contents for a moment, then turned his head to you, closing it shut.

Continuing on, he made his way to the other side of your room, stopping occasionally to pick something up and examine it before placing it back down.

Your heart racing, you had to do something, anything. You couldn't give up, not like this. Not without trying.

With his back to you, you saw a small branch of opportunity extend itself to you.

You decided to take it.

Leaping up, you willed your legs to carry you as fast as possible across the room. You threw open your bedroom door, passing the threshold and slammed it shut behind you, praying maybe that one small decision would earn you precious seconds.

Flying down the stairs, you could picture yourself making it out. You could see yourself escaping through the front door, your legs carrying you as fast as you could. You'd find some place to hide, maybe you'd make it to a neighbors house and bang on the door and scream for help. You were sure someone would have had to hear the gunshots already. Maybe someone had already called the police.

You could practically taste it. You were almost there, just a few more steps.

You made it to the living room, but every ounce of hope that you had been holding onto quickly shriveled and died in your chest. There, in your living room, were 5 men dressed head to toe in combat gear, each sporting a terrifying mask, each different from the next.

A feeling of terror, one you had yet to experience in your life, prickled your mind, icing your bones until it seeped deep into your core. Executioners, ready and willing to paint the walls with your blood in sweet violence, staring right back at you, holding you there, with no where to run.

_This is it._ You thought. _This is how I die._

You almost accepted the thought. You knew you'd given it your best. There was no way you'd make it out of this.

Then you remembered.

The side door.

You slightly glanced towards the kitchen. It was empty, free of masked demons lurking in the shadows.

You knew it was your best chance of survival. If you could just run fast enough, scream loud enough, you could make it.

It was your last chance.

You had barely moved a millimeter towards the kitchen when you felt a hot whisper at your ear.

"I wouldn't."

It was kylo.

You turned your head slightly, just enough to catch a glimpse of his face.

"Although...." pausing to take a moment to walk around to stand in front of you, "I'm sure Vicrul would love it if you did" he finished, nodding in the direction of your last saving grace.

You looked back to the kitchen, watching as another man stepped into view, only this one wasn't wearing a mask like the others. Your heart dropping once more when you were met with blue eyes, the very same blue eyes you'd somehow found a strange comfort in.

You knew you were right to have felt unease that second day, when he had stared into you just a little bit too long. You knew you should have gone with your gut, found somewhere else to sit.

The stranger you'd sat next to everyday in court, was now in your kitchen.

Defeated, you let out a small breath, hoping maybe they would make your death a quick one.

Maybe then it wouldn't hurt.

"Take her." Ren ordered, stepping away from you.

"What?!" You backed away.

One of the masked men stepped towards you, grabbing your arm and yanking you to him.

"Don't touch me!" You screeched, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. "Let me go!"

When you slightly managed to loosen his hold on you, he wrestled your arms behind your back, holding them in place with one hand as the other flew to your scalp, yanking your head backwards as one of the other men placed a gag over your mouth, silencing your screams for help.

Though you would have liked to imagine your will to survive would have been enough to need all 7 men to get you out of the door, you only required one yanking you out by your hair and throwing you into the back of an unmarked black vehicle.

Hands and feet bound, you found yourself wondering why they hadn't knocked you out cold, knew it would have been easier that way.

But as you managed to position yourself upright in the back of the van, locking eyes with the monster himself, you began to understand.

Even as Kylo stared back at you before slamming the doors closed and shutting you out from the outside world and any chance of escape, you knew.

He wanted you to be awake, he wanted you to drown in the fear that was consuming every inch of your mind.

He wanted you to remember every single second.

You realized they weren't going to kill you. At least not yet.

It wouldn't be a quick ending.

No.

It would be so much worse than that.

And in that moment you found yourself wishing that you had been lying in that bed when Kylo unloaded all 6 bullets into the mattress.


	5. five

There was a time in your life where your optimism had you convinced that nothing bad would ever happen to you, that you were invincible. That if you just let life take its course, it'd sail you in the right direction. There was a certain bliss that came with that mindset, that if you kept to yourself, if you stayed ignorant to the world around you, everything would be fine.

As you drifted in and out of consciousness, a similar feeling had drifted over you. For hours you hadn't been able to actively remember where you were, or what was happening. Your circumstances seemed so far away. When you started to even begin to think about it, your mind would drift away and send you straight back into oblivion.

In that time you weren't even sure if you were still tied to reality. Like a boat, still tied to its dock, drifting away but eventually being pulled right back.

It was peaceful, this state of unawareness.

But peacefulness wasn't a permanent characteristic of this world.

While before your ignorance had been self served, this time you weren't in control of what you did and did not know. You weren't even in control of your body anymore.

They had eventually blindfolded you after a while, stripping you of the last remaining sense that could be of use to you. Now you could only listen. For a while you fought to stay awake, the need to know what was going on strong, but you'd lost that battle.

It's like your body had shut down. The adrenaline had long drained from your system, your mind running wild with distorted images and sounds trying to make up for the fact that you were not in control of absolutely anything.

You were beginning to come back down to reality again, thoughts becoming more coherent, more tangible. You knew your arms ached. Your wrists had lost feeling hours ago, especially after expending all of your energy trying to free them. The gag had rubbed the corners of your lips raw, your mouth so dry you would have crumbled for just a drop of water. Your head throbbed, a headache blooming through your skull. The pain was a reminder that you did, indeed, still exist.

You felt the vehicle come to a stop, the engine dying as the sound of car doors opening and slamming shut peaked through your awareness. You raised your head, trying to prepare yourself.

The doors to the back of the van opened, a pair of hands startling you as they grabbed at your legs, pulling you forward. Your muffled protests were ignored as someone placed their arms under your back and knees, lifting you out of the van.

It had felt like ages since you'd felt the sun's warmth dance across your skin.

You started to try to wriggle out of their grasp, though it took all of your effort. You didn't even know what you'd do if you had been successful. It wasn't like you could just make a dash for it, your feet were tied together.

"It's no use little one. Save your energy." You thought you heard a deep voice say, though you couldn't be sure. You weren't sure of anything anymore. Your imagination had been running wild in feverish dreams for what felt like years, though you knew it could have only been a few hours.

Giving up, you let yourself be carried, your body remained rigid, cautious of the environment you could not see as you bobbed along with the person's steps. Ears working tirelessly to gauge what was going on.

The sounds of doors. Boots against hardwood. Shuffling. Muffled voices.

You were placed down, this time on a padded surface. A cot, maybe?

You remembered being almost grateful at how much more comfortable your new position was. You could stretch out, well, as much as the ropes tying your limbs together would allow. You remembered the droning of a loud engine slowly lulling you back into unconsciousness as the noise seemed to grow farther and farther away.

The last memory you had was a warm hand softly brushing the hair out of your face, before fully submitting to the warm embrace of sleep.

\-----------------------------------------------------

It was strange, your current state.

You knew you were asleep, that you were on an entirely different plane of consciousness.

It wasn't quite a dream, you weren't dreaming.

No.

It was more or less a feeling of just _being._

Your physical body nothing but a mere placeholder.

You knew the distorted images running through your mind weren't real, but in this reality they didn't need to be. In this sort of dreamlike state you knew that you were in a dark room. A type of darkness that no light would never be able to penetrate in a million years.

You knew that the more you let go, the further you fell into this darkness.

You weren't scared of it, in fact, it had brought you a feeling of serenity, of peace. The kind you craved. The kind that made you feel like everything would be okay. Wanting to fall deeper into it, you extended your acceptance, willing yourself to forget about every little thing that currently plagued your physical form.

But just fast as it came, you could feel it slipping away. You scrambled to find something, anything, to latch yourself on to. Anything to keep you there. The more you fought it, the more the comfort of darkness began to fade, shifting into an obnoxious white light.

When you woke you quickly came to the realization that you could actually _see._

Someone had removed your blindfold.

You let out a quick breath, remembering the circumstances you were under.

You also remembered the very person responsible for those same circumstances.

The restraints around your wrists and ankles had been removed as well. Raising your arm up, you rubbed your wrist, wincing as you tried to return the flow of blood back to the area. Fingertips rose to your mouth, lightly brushing over the raw corners of your lips as you let out a pained breath.

You went over the situation again in your head. Kylo Ren escaped. He was there in your room. Him and his scary ass goons had kidnapped you in the middle of the night.

If you could just piece things together, try to understand why this was happening, then maybe-

"You're awake."

Your eyes quickly scanned the room, searching for the origin of the voice before landing on the tall figure in the doorway.

Though your heart felt like it was trying to leap through your ribcage and onto the floor, you tried not to show how panicked you actually were. You swiftly sat up, groaning in pain. Your head was pounding.

"You've been in and out for quite some time." Kylo stepped forward slightly. "I hope you got enough rest....maybe even dreamt a little" A wicked smirk crept onto his face. "You seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the dream you were having a few nights ago."

You ignored the comment about the dream. "A few nights ago?" What was he talking about?

He hummed, walking further into the room, hands behind his back.

"How.....how long has it been since-"

"Two days."

You wanted to scream, to let out the floodgate of tears that you could feel building inside. Instead, you bit down on the inside of your cheek. You wouldn't give him the pleasure of getting a reaction out of you.

You'd been gone two whole days. You could have sworn it had only been a few hours, your sense of time clearly warped.

A shaky breath. "Why am I here? What do you want?"

Tilting his head, he observed you. "You're my guest."

You swallowed, furrowing your brows.

_Clearly he has the definitions of the words "guest" and "kidnap victim" mixed up._ You thought.

Quickly scanning your surroundings, you found that you were in a small room, the only things occupying the space, besides you and Kylo, was a small bed and desk.

You looked back to him. "Where am I?"

Silence.

You stood, balling your fists, trying to conjure up even an ounce of courage. "I said. Where. Am. I?"

His eyes darkened, his nostrils flaring the tiniest bit. "No more questions."

"You can't just-"

In the blink of an eye he had propelled forward, forcing you backwards until the backs of your knees had hit the bed, making you fall back on your ass onto the mattress, if you could even call it that.

He hovered over you, hands on either side of your hips. "I said. No more questions." He was so close. So close that you could see the tiny flecks of gold in his eyes, could feel his breath sweep over your face. You looked up at him, trembling, eyes wide. "I won't say it again."

The wet dream you'd had about him and all the thoughts that had crept into your mind since the first day you saw him suddenly came rushing back to you.

How could you forget when the catalyst of those very thoughts had you trapped underneath him?

You shuddered, realizing you were still in your nightgown. Your cheeks flushed.

"I don't want to kill you. Atleast not yet. Don't give me a reason to change my mind." Though his tone was sharp, his hands were delicate, dragging a line down the side of your neck. You shivered as he traced his pointer finger across your collarbone. "I will not tolerate disrespect, you would do well to remember that. Do you understand?" He placed his fingers around your jawbone.

You gave him a slight nod.

He tightened the grip on your jaw.

"Yes!" You whimpered. "I understand"

"Good girl." He whispered, forcing your head to the side. His hot breath tickled your cheekbone. "Look at that," He leaned in, lips ghosting over your earlobe. "you're a quick learner."

_Good girl._

Though your heart was hammering in your chest, you couldn't stop the goosebumps from forming. Couldn't help but to notice the warmth pooling between your thighs. You couldn't even resist squeezing them together to alleviate some of the tension.

He released your jaw, giving you one last glance before standing up straight again.

You didn't dare move a muscle.

Your eyes followed his figure as he made his way to the door, stopping and turning his head to the side slightly so you could see his side profile. "You are free to leave this room, however, I can assure you any attempts to escape will be in vain."

He took another step, reaching for the door.

The words were out before you could stop them. "They'll come for me. You're not going to get away with this. You should have just left. Taking me was a big mistake."

A deep "Hm" was all he offered in response, disappearing through the doorway, and closing it behind him.

You let out a deep exhale, mind racking itself.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_ You thought, trying to catch your breath.

You were disgusted with yourself, ashamed that he even had any effect on you whatsoever. It was like you were in a trance, completely hypnotized by his sheer intensity. You knew he was aware of his effect on you too. You'd seen it in his eyes, not just today, but before, in the courtroom.

You stood, making your way to the small window inside of the room. Hands grappling onto the black metal bars that enclosed it. You knew they weren't meant to keep intruders out, they were meant to keep you in.

Yanking at the bars with all your strength, you knew he was probably right. Any attempt at escaping would be futile. He probably had the place crawling with those masked beasts that had been in your living room.

You thought about the one who hadn't been masked. You wondered if you would even be here in this dingy room if you'd just chosen a different seat.

Ultimately you decided that you would've ended up here regardless. This was just a ploy to get back at Mason. Kylo Ren wanted revenge. There was no other explanation. He wanted to embarrass Mason, to make him pay. Your fate had been sealed the very second you married him. There was no other possible outcome.

Closing your eyes, you dropped your hands in defeat.

You may not have had any say in the events leading up to this moment, but you did have a say in how you handled every moment following.

It was then and there that you had decided you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of having any more power over you than he already did. You decided that under no circumstance would you leave this room, and you damn sure weren't going to speak to him.

If that meant dying in this room alone, then so be it.


End file.
